‘Homemaker or Job-oriented women? Your Choice!!’

16 Mar

It is extremely painful to write that the followers of Islam are, day by day, straying away from the Islamic way of life; started blindly copying the life styles of others, particularly of the westerners – Jews and Christians.

Prophet of Islam Muhammad (SAW) had over fourteen hundred years ago said: ”You will follow those before you, blindly inch by inch, so much so that if they enter a snake pit, you too will enter it.” someone asked: “O Prophet of Allah, by saying earlier people do you mean the Jews and the Christians?” Prophet replied: “Who else?” (Bukhari)

This article is very important for Muslim women who work in an environment which is prohibited in Islam; and also for men who push their wives, mothers, daughters and sisters to earn money. It is also argued that the women herself wants to become self-relying to live honourably in society and that she is not forced to earn money. Is it true? Not at all! Even if they say, force is not applied by her family members – husband and the in-laws etc. – it is definitely the crushing force from the social attitudes and the collective material outlook.

The western culture of today has created such an illusion which does not exist at all in practicality. That is why women are undergoing unimaginable painful sufferings in the west. Consequently, even a wife becomes a burden for her husband and also the children for their parents.

Islam is very sensitive to the chastity and purity of a women, it forbids free-mixing and unrestricted meeting between men and women. Islam considers it wrong to let man and woman mix with each other in their fields of work and let them involve in a severe test from where it is difficult to return. Islam not only forbids the act of adultery but also prohibits men and women to go near it. The Quran says: “Nor come nigh to adultery: For it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road, (to other evils).” (17:32).

It is not fair to women that she should be taken out from her natural field of work and be pushed into atypical field; it is not beneficial for her, and rather a great loss. The pain of menstrual period, pregnancy and delivery are inevitable. Man can hardly assist her in all these difficulties and complications. It is also not fair play if she is also given the responsibilities of man. The woman is the queen of house. She gets all the love and affection from her father, brother and husband and all the members of her family and all her rights are protected in the house. If a woman does not bear the responsibility of the house she cannot even claim her rights.

Sometime for earning and living, man struggles too severely, bears all kinds of pains and faces innumerable difficulties. For maintaining and uplifting his family, he overcomes insurmountable hardships. In such a state of affairs, he deserves mental peace and content. It is the home which can provide him with all the peace and rest. If he does not get peace even at his own home, it becomes too hard for him to live. Islam teaches that a women should make her home a ‘peaceful dwelling’ so that man should forget all his tensions and complications after reaching his home and prepare himself for a fresh struggle after breathing an air of gratification. If women work, she too, has to struggle at work and will be in need of peace at home which a man cannot give her.

It has become established fact that there is no better nourishment for child than the milk of his mother. If a mother does not stay at home and engages herself in outside work and activities, she cannot set herself for breast feeding, and then the proper nourishment of the child lacks! It is not just enough to give him proper nourishment but the child also needs love and affection, sympathy and an earnest devotion of his mother. Nobody else can take the place of a mother for playing a decisive role. If mother remains out of home, the child would yearn for the love of his mother and he will not get it.

For the purpose of Education of a child , it is necessary that his teacher should be very loving and devoted to him.

For the basic education and training of the child, mother is most suitable. For the purpose of education of a child, it is necessary that his teacher should be very loving and devoted to him. Children always copy or imitate their Teachers. Muslims pay very less attention on religious education. If the mother is capable of giving Islamic education to her children, they will not be ignorant of their religion, even after obtaining education in school.

Even for training the child, the role of the mother is most important and significant. It is the mother who stands as an ideal for a child. The child observes the morals and etiquettes of his mother day and night, and shapes his behaviour perceiving the behaviour of his mother. No one can teach better ethics and respect to the child except his very own, mother! The famous quote everybody knows “Behind every successful man there is a woman”, and almost every time it is a Mother. Love of mother is very much necessary for the child to get proper education, ethics, and most importantly respect towards females.

The fact is that the construction of a society depends upon the construction of a house. This is the reason that Islam has completely relied upon women to construct her house. Prophet Muhammad (s) said “If you educate one man you have educated one person, and if you have educated one woman you have educated a whole family”. Mother plays very significant role in the education of her children. Islam does not wish to thrust on her other burdens along with this responsibility. In the light of Islam, the construction of the house is no less important than jihad. Hazrat Anas (r) – a companion of Prophet – related that once a group of women asked Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) that man perform some act and attain the reward of jihad, what we should do to get such reward which man get through jihad in the way of Allah? Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) replied that a woman who sits at home receives the reward of jihad in the way of Allah. (Ref: Tafseer Ibn katheer)

Many of the women who does job often gets irritated at work and they burst their anger on husband and children at home. Even women get irritated at the time of menstrual periods and they cannot handle the situations in this period. Much of the clashes between husband and wife will be in this period and women even burst out anger of the office and work place. They cannot do justice to the work as well as raising children at the same time. And God Almighty laid the primary duty of a woman to build the house by raising children because “today’s youths are tomorrow’s leaders”.

If we flip the pages of history, we come to know about the great women who trained their sons in such a way that they became scholars, scientist, doctors, warriors and what not! It is because of the training of the mother which helped the child to become passionate of his/her field and achieved success. A mother also creates another mother which in turn creates another creator of the history. The great women-companions of the prophet proved to be good mothers by effectively designing the home.

Islam allow (men and) women to work within the preview of Islamic shariah. Women can work in those fields where there are exclusively females and hijab can be observed strictly. Dignity of women is very much important in Islam and it gives utmost freedom and justice. We need female doctors, teachers, tailors, etc. which helps muslima to observe correct hijab. But the primary responsibility of the women is to protect her kingdom (i.e. home) and raise children because Allah has given a special quality to handle the house hold work to women rather than men. So she is the master of her field and no substitute can be found in her place.

Psychologist say, an expert is needed to handle and educate children. Imagine if the mother is well educated and spends the time with children then in no time our society will once again create a revolution like the companions of Prophet (pbuh).

An engineer is not bothered what happens in Medical field, neither do the doctor bothers about engineering field. Similarly, women should be master of her field and should not bother about men. Allah has given enough strength to men and women to work in their respective fields. If anyone – male or female – leaves their field then there will be natural imbalance in the society, which creates unnecessary havoc.

May Allah bless this effort with His favour and make it an instrument of understanding for us.
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Source : muslimapride.co.cc : ‘Homemaker or Job-oriented women? Your Choice!!’

61 ways to keep the LOVE of your husband

16 Mar

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good!
4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:

1. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or

2. Amicable divorce

8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him(when u r alone).
11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, insha Allah.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (?????? ????) narrated that the Prophet (??? ???? ???? ????) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”
35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
40. Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
41. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. lol

42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
44. Brush your hair, everyday and your teeth too.

45. Don’t forget to do laundry.
46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
51. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
56. Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
58. Strive for Allah’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah’s love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
61. Receite “Ya Wadoodo” as many times as you can after salah….Its One of Name of Allah,which creates love between couples…

Source : http://islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com

how to make your husband happy

16 Mar

1. Beautiful Reception. After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting

Meet him with a cheerful face.

Beautify and perfume yourself

Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested

Receive him with loving and yearning sentences

Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

For your  husband only, it shouldn’t be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried)

3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

Taking good care of your body and fitness

Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes

Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells

Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape

Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoo

Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes

Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time

However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course, only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4. Intercourse

Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.

Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.

Exchange loving phrases with your husband.

Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.

Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband, and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.

5. Satisfaction With What Allah (SWT) Has Allotted

You shouldn’t be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job.

You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (SWT) for all that was given to you

You should remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety.

6. Indifference to Worldly Things

You should not consider this world as your hope and interest

You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things

Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah).

Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7. Appreciation

By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.

The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways

The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be dissappointed and will start asking himself: Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?

8. Devotion and Loyalty

In particular in times of calamities in your husband’s body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy

Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9. Compliance to Him

In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram).

In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant

10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.

But if it happens that you can’t, then try to appease him as follows:

1- If you mistaken, then apologize 2- If he mistaken then:

# Keep still instead of arguing or # Yield you were right or # Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.

3- If he was angry because of external reasons then:

# Keeping silent untill his anger goes # Find execuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, some one insulted him # Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened, e.g.

1) You should tell me what happened? 2) I must know what made you so angry. 3) You are hidding something, and I have the right to know

11. Guardianship While He is Absent

Protecting yourself from any prohibited relations

Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don’t like other people to know

Take care of the house and children

Take care of his money and properties

Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijab

Refuse people whom he does not like to come over

Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place

Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence

12. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his  parents

You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives

You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife

Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.

Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.

Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc.

13. Admirable Jealousy

Jealousy is a sign for wife’s love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulating or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc.

You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14. Patience and Emotional Support

Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.

When you face calamities and disasters that may  happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.

When facing hardships in Da’wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested, etc.), be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of paradise.

When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment

15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da’wah and Jihad

Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.* Encourage him to pray at night.

Listen and reciting the Qur’an individually and with your husband.

Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.

Remember Allah SWT much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.

Share in arranging Da’wah activities for women and children.

Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners (‘adab) for women.

Support your husband’s activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.

Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da’wah.

Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah SWT.

15. Good Housekeeping

Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.

Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.

Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods.

Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.

Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17. Preservation of Finances and the Family

Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.

Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.

Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

Finally, please make Du’a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah and for reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors.

Source : http://www.themodernreligion.com/women/happyhubby.html

Rights of a muslim wife

16 Mar

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property, etc)…” (An-Nisa’ 4:34)

Mahr (Dowry)

In Islam the man presents his wife with a dowry they have mutually agreed upon, at the time of marriage. The amount varies according to his means and generosity, and his wife has the right to spend, save or remit any part of it. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran:

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful). (An-Nisa’ 4:4)

Maintenance

Women have been entrusted by Allah (SWT) with the task of providing a peaceful, comfortable home environment for the breadwinner who works for their provisions outside the home all day long.

It is one of the extraordinary beauties of Islam that by entrusting the male to the position of protector and provider, it frees the woman, who is burdened with the long cycle of bearing, giving birth to, nursing and raising children, from having to assume the extra burden of her own and her children’s support, which is unjust and a tremendous hardship.

While a woman must obey her husband, as long as he does not ask anything forbidden of her, and guard his possessions while he is away from the house, and handle his money as he wishes, she must also be faithful, trustworthy and honest.

A wife is regarded as a source of love, peace and compassion, as stated in the Quran:

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them , and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed  signs for a people who reflect.” (Ar-Rum 30:21)

“…But the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear…” (Al-Baqarah 2:233)

“’O Messenger of Allah (SAW), what right can a wife demand of her husband?’ He replied, ‘that you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, not strike her on the face, and do not insult her or separate form her except in the house.’” (Reported by Ahmad, Ibn Majah and Abu Dawud)

“A woman came to the Prophet (SAW) complaining of her husband, ‘Messenger of Allah (SAW), Abu Sufyan is a niggardly man who does not give me and my son enough; except what I take from him without his knowledge.’ He replied, ‘Take what is enough for you and your son according to what is ma’roof (well-known in your society).’” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Good Treatment, Condideration and Companionship

Allah (SWT) instructs men that they must be compassionate and kind to their wives:

“…They are Libas [i.e. body cover, or screen or Sakah, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her as in Verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabari], for you and your are the same for them…” (Al Baqarah 2:187)

“It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created form him his wife (Eve), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her…” (Al-A’raf 7:189)

This meaning that a wife and a husband are meant for mutual support, mutual comfort, and mutual protection of each other.

The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) also emphasized the importance of this compassionate treatment:

“I command you to treat women kindly. Woman has been created from a rib (the rib is crooked), and the most crooked part of the rib is the upper region. If you try to make it straight you will break it, and if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So treat women kindly.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) also said:

“The best of you are those who are best to the women.” (Sahih At-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Al-Jami Al-Saker)

The best husband is one who provides her with true leadership without harshness, or laxness, and who does not misuse his authority and strength. Even if the behavior of a wife should become hard to live with (for she may not always be in strong health and of cheery disposition), the man is asked to be patient and kind to her. Allah (SWT) says:

“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr (dowry, bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” (An-Nisa’ 4:19)

A wife has the right to her husband’s attention, companionship and time. The husband should try to please and make her happy, taking into consideration her needs, wishes, likes and dislikes, and making time for relaxation and recreation together.

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said,

“Among the Muslims, the most perfect as regards his faith is the one whose character is most excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” (At-Tirmidhi)

“A believer must not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another.” (Sahih Muslim)

“Woman has been created from a rib and in no way will be straight for you; so if you enjoy her you will do so while crookedness remains in her; but if you try to straighten her you will break her; breaking her being divorcing her.” (Sahih Muslim)

The Right to Adequate Sexual Relations

Since the purpose of marriage is to be a mutual source of comfort, peace, and enjoyment for each other, like a garment that protects and cover, the sexual aspect of marriage is an extension of this. The husband is asked to be gentle, considerate and loving with his wife, and to try to satisfy her needs. The wife must reserve herself exclusively for her husband, and make efforts to be attractive, as well as making herself available to him whenever he is in need of her. This latter obligation also applies to the husband. In Islam, any sexual relations are reserved EXCLUSIVELY for the confines of marriage. Both husband and wife are also obligated to honor the privacy of the intimate relations between them, and should not speak of them to anyone. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:

“Verily among the worst people before Allah on the Day of Judgment is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets.” (Sahih Muslim)

Allah (SWT) says in the Quran:

“…And live with them honorably…” (An-Nisa’ 4:19)

The wife has right over her husband. The husband should play with his wife.

“The Prophet (SAW) was told about one of his Sahaba (Companions) that he fasts in the daytime and prays at night, the Prophet (SAW) told him that his family has right over him, his body has right over him, pray and sleep, fast and then break the fast.” (Ibn Hibban)

The Prophet (SAW) also declared that having sexual intercourse with one’s wife is like giving charity. It is very important to play and sport with one’s wife before having sex, as the Prophet (SAW) told Jabir,

“Why did you not marry a virgin, with whom you could play and who would play with you?” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The Right Not To Be Beaten

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) specifically said,

“Do not beat the female servants of Allah.” (Abu Dawud)

Allah (SWT) says in the Quran:

“…As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.” (An-Nisa’ 4:34)

The Prophet (SAW) said:

“When one of you inflicts a beating, he should avoid striking the face.”

The Right to Be Just With All the Wives

The Prophet (SAW) said,

“When a man has two wives and does not treat them equally he will come on the Day of Resurrection with a side hanging down.” (At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud)

The wives have the right to equal number of nights and equal amount of wealth.

The Right to Learning Matters of the Deen

A husband’s duty is to teach his wife the essential knowledge of Islam, in particular matters pertaining to women. If he does not know himself, then he must buy her books and tapes that would teach her or let her go to study circles where she can acquire that knowledge. She can not leave the house without his permission, but she can go to the Masjid (Mosque) without his permission. He has no right to stop her from that. Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said,

“Do not prevent the female servants of Allah from visiting the mosques of Allah, but they may go out (to the mosque) having not perfumed themselves.” (Ahmad and Abu Dawud)

“…Their houses are better for them.” (Abu Dawud)

The Right to Be Jealously Defended

This includes not letting her leave the house without proper hijab, or not letting her freely intermingle with men. The Prophet (SAW) has said that a ‘dayooth’ (a man who is not jealous about his honor) will not enter Paradise.

Now this does not mean that the husband is permitted to go to the extreme in this matter. Such matters may be as follows:

Not letting one’s wife go out of the house EVEN when it is safe to do so.

Not letting one’s wife answer the phone.

· Not allowing wife to go to hospital when she is sick

Sumber: www.faithofmuslims.com

The Last Lecture (by Randy Pausch, with Jeffrey Zaslow)

26 Feb

Below is the summary of some important points in a book called “the Last Lecture”. I’ve got this summary from my American Mom (my extended American family). I thought it would be useful if I share it to others who might not have a chance to read this book yet.

 

Points on How to improve your life

 

Personality:

1: Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

2. Don’t have negative thoughts of things you can not control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

3. Don’t over do: keep your limits

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does

5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip

6. Dream more while you are awake

7. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the pas. That will ruin your present happiness.

8. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.

9. Make peace with your past so it wont’s spoil the present

10. No one is in charge of your happiness except you

11. Smile and laugh more

12. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree

 

Community:

13. Call your family often

14. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6

15. Try to make at least three people smile each day

16. What other people think of you is none of your business

17. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. stay in touch.

 

Life:

20. Do the right things

21. However good or bad a situation is, it will change

22. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up

23. The best is yet to come

24. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful

25. When you awake alive and healthy in the morning, thank your parents for giving you this life, sing a song and be contented with everything, like the birds who stride the sky!

 

While you practice all f the above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people hate, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with. Not only will it enrich your life, but also that of those around you.

 

took from FB: imam wahyudi karimullah (writers)

hoping to be with you one day

8 Feb

Always thinking of you, no matter the time and place
The tought of you brings a soft smile to my face
You’re the type to bring me up when I’m low
Keeps me laughing, even when you call me “slow”
I like our small talks and the clowning we do
Shows the commitment between me and you
No need for the drama and all that, we chill
We argue a little here and there, we real
I can’t wait til the day when it’s a day for us two
To spend the rest of my life with cause I trust you
This I couldn’t say so I just had to spell it out
My actions aren’t always perfect, here it’s all out
You’re all that and even more than what I asked for
The type that reminds me to pray with my head to the floor
I raise my hands and make dua then I pray
Asking for the best, hoping to be with you one day
Insha Allah

By: mujihada (www.islamicpoem.com)

obat galau

16 Jan

Punten, buat yang sering galau (resah hatinya), abdi share ayat-ayat Allah yang bisa menyejukan hati meneguhkan iman…

Ketika kita mengeluh : “Ah mana
mungkin…..”
Allah menjawab : “Jika AKU menghendaki,
… cukup Ku berkata “Jadi”, maka jadilah (QS. Yasin ; 82)

… … … Ketika kita mengeluh : “Capek banget gw….”
Allah menjawab : “…dan KAMI jadikan
tidurmu untuk istirahat.” (QS.An Naba :9)

Ketika kita mengeluh : “Berat banget yah, gak sanggup rasanya…”
Allah menjawab : “AKU tidak membebani seseorang, melainkan sesuai kesanggupan.” (QS. Al-Baqarah : 286)

Ketika kita mengeluh : “Stressss
nih…Panik…”
Allah menjawab : “Hanya dengan
mengingatku hati akan menjadi tenang”.
(QS. Ar-Ro’d :28)

Ketika kita mengeluh : “Yaaaahh… ini mah semua bakal sia-sia..”
Allah menjawab :”Siapa yang mengerjakan kebaikan sebesar biji dzarah sekalipun,
niscaya ia akan melihat balasannya”. (QS. Al-Zalzalah :7)

Ketika kita mengeluh : “Gile aje..gw
sendirian..gak ada seorangpun yang mau bantuin…”
Allah menjawab : “Berdoalah (mintalah) kepadaKU, niscaya Aku kabulkan untukmu”.
(QS. Al-Mukmin :60)

Ketika kita mengeluh : “ Duh..sedih banget deh gw…”
Allah menjawab : “La Tahzan, Innallaha Ma’ana. Janganlah kamu berduka cita, sesungguhnya Allah beserta kita:. (QS. At-Taubah :40)

Ayo tman2 smua yg mulai galau atas perhatian Allah yg serasa jauh dari kita pdahal sebaliknya Allah dekat selalu (QS. Al-Baqarah 186)

Ikuti

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